hurumph.

Today, the sky can't decide if it wants to be a gorgeous brilliant blue Autumn-in-Iowa fall sky that makes you want to run and breathe it all in, or the white-gray Autumn-in-Iowa sky that occurs when there's just enough chill in the air to make you wear a hoodie and drink some tea or hot chocolate and curl up with a book or music or a dog or all three. It's a weird in-between stage, like it can't decide what it's gonna be. Which, naturally, means we don't get the best of either of the two scenarios. Which, just as naturally, means I'm slightly bummed and very tired and sitting here listening to depressing music which, although beautiful and melodic, isn't helping matters any. So I thought I'd make a list of things that tend to contribute to the bummed-out feeling, or just outright torque me off.

1. Slanted journalism. This one's been on my mind for a few days, ever since I read a NY Times article about Palin. Obviously, journalism is *rarely* completely unbiased. But when you're the New York Times, shouldn't the fact that you've reached the pinnacle of your profession mean that you're good enough to write the straight up facts like you're supposed to? I don't care which way it's slanted- if I want an opinion, I'll read the Opinion section. Not the front page.

2. People that expect me to think they're funny when they're really, really not.

3. Bashing on law enforcement. Maybe this should be a subdivision of slanted journalism, but it's outside the world of media too. Where do these people get off thinking that they can judge what our police officers do? Have they done it? Oh right, you've watched Cops. That does make you qualified. I forgot.

4. The fact that I never tell people to shut the heck up when that's all I really want to do.

5. The fact that I found out that I didn't have my first class AFTER I got up early and got there.

6. Being tired pretty much all the time. Nobody ever told me that was part of the whole "being a grown up" package. I think I'd prefer my childhood vision of adulthood, which consisted of having a dream job and making like, THOUSANDS of dollars, and having lots of time to go do cool grownup things with friends.

7. Homework. I know, everybody has to deal with it. But that means everyone knows what I'm talking about, and it sucks, right?

8. Knowing there was something you were thinking about and it was important and all of the sudden,you can't remember what it was in the first place.

Okay, I think that's pretty much it for now. However, to counterbalance the whole negativity bit, there ARE things I'm very happy about. I'm off to a cooking club with my sister tonight, where we'll get to share food and stories and fun. The Office starts up again tomorrow-more pam and jim goodness and dwight ridiculousness to laugh about. Class was cancelled this morning. I still have a third of a strawberry soda and an entire package of dark chocolate peanut m&m's to get me through my shift in the writing lab. (sugar crash, what?) homemade macaroni & cheese! My sweet playlist at the bottom of this blog. I'm almost caught up on homework. Knowing I'll be with my favorite people ever in 1.5 hours. The fact that the clouds are pulling apart-looks like the sky decided to be sunny after all.

Perfect, or as close as it gets...

I don't think too many people will say their life can't get any better. I mean, I know I would say my life could get better if I published a novel within the next three years and was able to travel the world and got accepted into the Workshop without hardly trying and did all the millions of things I WANT to do. But then again, I'm pretty sure I don't need any of that. Actually, I am positive I don't *need* any of that. It might be nice. It *would* be nice. But I'm sitting here today in the math lab at school and thinking about how many things/people/experiences/days make me happy. Like the fact that my Pepsi came out from the machine really really cold instead of the lukewarmish it usually is. Or the fact that my mock interview/final is over and I aced it and now I have one less class to juggle this semester. Or yesterday, when my sisters and aunt and I took my mom out to dinner for her birthday at a awesome little spot downtown, and then walked next door to starbucks and sat outside drinking our lattes and laughing. That's pretty much nirvana right there. Even work, which sometimes gives me a headache or the sudden urge to cause bodily harm to someone, right now? I'm actually looking forward to working tonight so I can hang out with my coworkers before I get the next two days off. Weird, right? And then there's all these opportunities for me to follow up on. Even if it's just researching the opportunities right now, the fact that I can follow up on them and explore all the paths before me is pretty frickin sweet.
So I'm going to try to remember these things on the days when the only thing that makes me happy when I get up is that I get to go back to bed that night. The days when my soda comes out warm when all I really, really needed was a cold caffeine/sugar jolt to get me through the next class. Or the days when a coworker or customer makes me want to scream and/or cry and/or quit.
I'm going to try to remember this feeling of being absolutely happy, because my life is absolutely perfect. Or at least as close as it gets.

And to further the procrastination...

Alrighty here, folks. If I can just push this for 36 more minutes, I will have successfully avoided reading my American Literature homework in the time slot I had allotted for myself. Why would I give myself an alloted time slot if I wasn't going to use it, you ask? Well, my answer would be to not ask stupid questions. There is no rhyme or reason to my procrastination. In fact, I'm well aware of the fact that if I only did my homework when I told myself I was going to do it, I'd be more likely to have time to do fun stuff like see my family and friends, watch movies, and sleep. Instead, I like to stretch a one page response paper over the course of four hours, interspersed with lots and lots of facebook checking,(note: not much changes in four hours. In fact, I don't think anything happened in those four hours, but I still kept checking just in case.) getting up for snacks, sitting back down, getting up to take care of the snack plate, taking off with my brother in law to go look at a car for sale, etc. You get the idea. At my little sister's nagging, I finally finish the first response, and promptly write the next two page response paper in twenty minutes cuz I was tired of sitting around "writing." So I'm capable of turning out papers. Actually, I'll be honest (read: full of myself) and say I'm more than capable; I'm really good at turning out papers when I want to sit down and do the work. Unfortunately, I usually don't "want" to do my homework. It's gonna be a long semester. And a long 27 minutes while I find something else to do to avoid that homework.

Joining the 21st Century, folks!

Reasons I finally decided to join the masses and start a blog.

1. Everybody and their brother has one. And by everyone and their brother, I really mean two of my sisters and my brother in law, so I thought I'd join them.

2. I want to share the inner workings of my extraordinarily creative, on-par-with-Plato-philosophically brilliant mind with the world. I'm pretty sure that this will be the start of a future filled with many award-winning works and quite possibly saving the world. I'm looking forward to it.

3. This is one more tool to further my efforts at becoming the worst homework-procrastinator in the world. By the worst, I really mean the best.

4. Really, though, I like to write. I like people to read what I write. I like people to like what they read when they read what I write. So I'm hoping that blogging will allow me to freely write what I want, and for you to read what I write and then tell me nice things about it. :D